You’re a good man. I think where a lot of good men go wrong (not to say you’re necessarily doing this) is in projecting their goodness onto their fellow men, imagining that the men they know have the same attitudes toward women that they have. Then when women start talking about all the horrific experiences they’ve had with rape culture they struggle to reconcile that with the worldview that all of our scars come from a tiny microfraction of the male population, and it creates a lot of dissonance.