Wait, you’re telling me Vladimir Putin is not a nice person?? How is this the first I’m hearing about this?? That’s gotta be the best-kept secret in the English-speaking world! Thank you for giving my career meaning, good sir. I’m going to start writing about what a bad, bad man Vladimir Putin is, because no one else is brave enough to speak the truth.
Gosh diggety, what a scoop!

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I write about the end of illusions.

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