Voting Explained

Prisoners: Hey, let us out of this prison! We didn’t do anything wrong!

Prison guard: Oh my god, you think you’re in prison?? You’re all free! You can leave whenever you want!

Prisoners: Okay well let us out then!

Prison guard: Sure thing! There are some keys hanging up next to the door. Should be a red one and a blue one.

[Long pause]

Prisoners: This key isn’t working! It’s made of plastic and it’s completely the wrong size. It’s clearly not designed to open this lock.

Prison guard: Which key did you try?

Prisoners: The red one.

Prison guard: Ohh, that must be the wrong one. Try the blue one.

[Long pause]

Prisoners: The blue key doesn’t work either! It’s also a fake plastic toy that isn’t built for this lock, just like the red one!

Prison guard: You must not be doing it right. You’ve got to try harder. Really jam them in there and wiggle them around a bit.

[Very long pause]

Prisoners: It’s not working!

Prison guard: Try harder!

Prisoners: We’ve been trying as hard as we can! We keep switching back and forth between the red key and the blue key and trying every different approach we can think of, and we’ve come nowhere close! These plastic keys are just fake children’s toys designed to distract us and keep us preoccupied so we’ll stay locked up! Give us the real keys!

Prison guard [sighs]: Okay, well, we don’t like to encourage this, but there is a third key handing on the wall to your left.

Prisoners: This giant green one?

Prison guard: That’s the one!

Prisoners: This thing’s four feet long and made of styrofoam! There’s not a chance in hell it can open that lock!

Prison guard: Okay well maybe just stick with the red and blue ones then.

Prisoner 1: I say we try the blue one!

Prisoner 2: Idiot! The red one is way better!

Prisoner 1: Blue one!

Prisoner 2: Red one!

Prisoner 1: Okay, well, let’s ask everyone here. Everyone who thinks we should keep trying the blue one come over here onto this side of the prison, and everyone who thinks we should try the red one go over there with him.

Prisoner 3: Uhh, guys? That door doesn’t look very thick. There are a whole lot of us, and there’s only one prison guard. I’m pretty sure if we all team up we could knock this door down and tie him up.

Prisoner 1: What are you, nuts??

Prisoner 2: Why go to all that trouble when we’ve got this perfectly good red key right here?

Prisoner 1: Blue key!

Prisoner 2: Red key!

Prisoner 1: Blue Key!

Prisoner 2: Red key!

Prison guard [leaning back and chuckling]: Gets ’em every time.

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