The Debate Was Two Assholes Bragging About What Murderous Empire Sluts They Are

Caitlin Johnstone
5 min readSep 12, 2024

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Notes From The Edge Of The Narrative Matrix

Listen to a reading of this article (reading by Tim Foley):

If you missed the presidential debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, this was pretty much the tone of it:

Trump: She’s a communist. She’s literally a Marxist.

Harris: Actually Goldman Sachs loves me.

Trump: I saw her eat a cat. It was on the TV.

Harris: Dick Cheney loves me too.

Trump: She won’t kill any Palestinians at all.

Harris: I’ll kill way more Palestinians than he’ll kill.

Trump: I will kill the most Palestinians. I’ll kill more Palestinians than anyone.

Harris: You couldn’t kill even one Palestinian. You are weak.

Trump: I am not weak I am strong. I am the strongest.

Harris: You’re a weak little girl and you’ll let China win.

Trump: She’s gonna start a nuclear war with Russia.

Harris: I will invade Russia myself and I’ll kill Putin with my bare hands. I am the strongest and you are the weakest.

Trump: It’s not true. It’s not true.

Harris: I will also do the most fracking and drill the most oil. Many Republicans have said I’m the strongest.

Trump: No. No. She’s weak on immigration.

Harris: I kick immigrants in the balls for fun.

[commercial break]

The presidential debate sucked and they were both horrible, but Harris clearly came out looking more coherent and in control. In other words, Harris did what anyone debating Trump should have been able to do on day one. The fact that it’s taken three whole election cycles to see a candidate dominate Trump in a basic presidential debate shows what braindead morons the Democrats have been serving up all these years.

As a debater, she did her job. As a presidential candidate, she showed why so many warmongering Republicans have been so eager to support her. She showed that she’s a Republican with pronouns in her bio, talking about how tough she’s going to be on China and how much she loves fracking and oil and Israel and how many Republicans have endorsed her and her policies.

This is what the “left wing” looks like in the world’s most powerful government. US politics is so intensely stupid.

If Dick Cheney ever endorsed anything I was doing, or even spoke vaguely positively of it, I would immediately stop doing that thing.

The Israeli military is claiming that one of its snipers probably did shoot an an American activist in the head while she was protesting Israeli atrocities in the West Bank last week, but claimed it was “indirect and unintentional”.

And, I mean, of course that’s what they’re saying. It was either that or try to say she had a Hamas base in her skull.

“If you’re anti-war than why don’t you support Trump?”

Because I fucking paid attention when he was president.

I watched the warmongering and militarism rolled out by his administration instead of mindlessly ingesting right wing media like a drooling idiot.

I watched the evil things he did in nations like Yemen, Venezuela, Iran and Syria.

I watched him ramp up cold war aggressions against Russia and pave the way to the war in Ukraine.

I watched him assassinate Soleimani and shred the Iran deal.

I watched him lock up Assange.

I watched him veto attempts to save Yemen.

I listened to him say he’s keeping troops in Syria “to keep the oil”.

I watched him starve Venezuelans to death while staging the most transparent foreign coup attempt in history.

I watched him appoint bloodthirsty PNAC neocons like Elliott Abrams and John motherfucking Bolton to high positions within the US murder machine.

I listened to Mike Pompeo say they’re squeezing Iranian civilians with starvation sanctions in the hope that it will spark a civil war.

I listened to Rex Tillerson brag about boats full of dead North Koreans washing up on Japan’s shores because US sanctions had successfully starved them to death.

I watched him shamelessly facilitate agendas that had long been promoted by the worst neocons and war whores in Washington while you dopes who are now asking me “why don’t you support Trump?” were letting Alex Jones and Tucker Carlson tell you how to think.

I don’t support Trump because I spent four years of my life staring right at the administration he was running and writing about what I saw unfiltered by the lens of party politics instead of letting a bunch of asshole pundits confirm my biases for me like you did. That’s the one and only reason we see him differently.

Democrats said if Trump was re-elected in 2020 he’d unleash hell on earth, then Biden was elected and he unleashed hell on earth. Democrats will blame everyone but themselves if they lose in November, but it will be nobody’s fault but their own.

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Featured image via NBC News Youtube screenshot (Fair Use).

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