Yes, I agree, the nasty ones are good at tricking us. Is that our fault? Is it our fault that we have been hacked? Do you blame a nation for being blind to propaganda? No, you blame those that use propaganda.

Of course there are wonderful men, I have one. That isn’t to say the culture doesn’t need changing. Just look at how we talk about alcohol and sex. We warn the girls and not the boys. There should be a blanket “No sex if either of you are drunk” rule. How can we knowingly encourage boys to seek sex from girls whose natural inhibitions are unnaturally suppressed in that moment? I don’t care if the boy is drunk as well. A drunk yes is not a yes. They don’t let you get a tattoo when you’re drunk, and sex for a girl is just as life changing, even if no baby is conceived. Sex really matters to us. Sex is a big big deal. Stealing it from us whether that be by guilt, negging, obligation, wifely duties, manipulation or liquid inebriation is wrong, and I’m sorry if you are jealous of the mean fuckers who do that to us, but seriously — we hate them. We hate them with a passion that you will never understand. You do not want to be one of those men even if it means you get less sex. We. Hate. Them. You got that? Don’t be jealous. They have stolen something from us that is very precious.

We hate them for good reason too. The constant wearing away of our sexuality through this onslaught of “GIVE IT TO US! YOU OWE US IT! THAT’S NOT YOURS! HAND IT OVER!” that we are bombarded with from the moment we get boobs, means that most of us have never ever experienced our true sexuality. Our turn-on is hidden from us under layers of shame, guilt and fear. This is not something we talk about because we even made to feel embarrassed about that — if you’re not a slut, you’re frigid, etc. We can never do our own sexuality right, it’s clear it’s not ours, and very few men are large enough, alpha enough, and comfortable enough in themselves to clear a big playground for us to explore and find out what our sexuality really is.

Because it’s much more than just sex for us. Our sexuality is our creativity, our spark and our ambition. Women who have been raped lose all confidence in themselves. We lose our sparkle. We lose our pathway to our intuition, our decision making, our insight, inspiration and our will. Our self-healing is tied in their too, as is our ability to play.

And you would be amazed at just how many of us have been raped. I can count on one hand my friends who haven’t been sexually assaulted. Maybe that’s a birds-of-a-feather thing, but I can also tell you that for the twenty or so women that I am intimate enough with enough to know that they have been raped, only one of them reported it and she had a helluva time.

And we are Gen X middle-class white women! We are the very very privileged ones. This is a global emergency. Discovering our long hidden sexuality is the key to healing the planet, I’m so sure of that. There is so much power here and we need help busting out a big safe space for it to blossom.

Anyway, please don’t be jealous of those criminals. We hate them, but while the culture lets what they do to us be okay, we will continue to fall victim to their tricks. We need help, we can’t do this ourselves, we need good men to stand up to them and say “Stop doing that you rapey prick” when they see us being conned. All our natural sexy attributes are being used against us — our guilelessness, our desire to be protected, our desire to please, our ability to surrender to a man’s will — all of those beautiful attributes are being knotted into chains to tie us to the nastiest of men. And it’s worse than ever. Google “How to neg a woman” and you will come up with pages and pages of the most vile manipulations. These men are teaching young men. It’s really really bad.

Women can be manipulative too, I know that, but they are at least punching up, not down. Men doing this to women is an abuse of power. Thousands of years of female subjugation have not been wiped out in a few decades and all the patriarchal structures are still basically in place. For instance — money only recognises masculine abilities, not feminine. You don’t get paid for having babies. We only get paid for our masculine style work, but we still have to do our feminine work as well. So some of the more canny women have learnt to game the system. Hillary Clinton comes to mind. The worst of us will rise while nothing changes, and the best will be stuck single-momming it. We really need that reversed. We all need that reversed. Nothing will change until that is reversed, the sickest aspects of the patriarchy — war, money, capitalism — will continue to kill us unabated. We need the healthy feminine to rise up, but we need everyone to help, not just the women.

Will you help us?

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I write about the end of illusions.

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