If a husband wants sex and his wife does not, the solution is not for the wife to grit her teeth through an experience she doesn’t want (while likely also being expected to reassure her spouse that it’s good for her). The solution is for the husband to make her feel safe, secure, cherished, and sexy, so that she will want sex. When he does those things and her sexuality opens back up to him, he will know he’s receiving the real thing instead of a ritualized act of sexual slavery.

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I write about the end of illusions.

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